Deleted scenes
by Koujo Lin
Summary: These are the deleted scenes from the anime and manga.This is pure randomness. Discontinued 'til further notice
1. Chapter 1 Begining part1 Syaoran

_This idea popped into my head in class when i was once again ignoring my teacher, who figured it out and put me in detention. This story is complete randomness and i wan you i had a lot of sugar when i wrote this._

Syaoran walked in with a huge smile on his face.

Clamp lady 1: "Fai get out of there! This is the Syaoran scene."

Fai leaves the stage pouting.

Clamp lady 2: "Scene one take two!"

Syaoran walked inside.

"I'm home father." He said to a picture of….Fei Wong Reed?

Then someone knocked on the door so Syaoran opened it and Sakura threw herself at him.

"Syaoran!" She shouted with joy.

"Princess what are you doing here?" Syaoran asked.

"I wanted to tell you that I love you." She replied.

After that the bells rang.

"This is the third time he screwed up this scene!" Sakura yelled pissed.

"Uh, aren't you suppose to say that you have to go?" Syaoran asked looking through the script.

"Oh, yeah, see you later when I get sucked into the weird hole." Sakura replied and ran outside feeling hyper.

_Too the scene on the balcony_

Sakura looked at the weird ruins and suddenly she heard a sound.

"What's that weird sound? It's pretty and a very clean tone." She said and listened.

"An electric guitar?" She asked and the Clamp ladies slapped their heads.

"I mean….a bell? Like something is….being struck." Sakura corrected herself.

"It sounds like it's coming from the ruins. Almost like it's calling to me." Sakura said and started to float in the air.

She saw images of Celes, Nihon, the symbol in the ruins and Syaoran.

Suddenly the strings that kept her up in the air split and she fell down.

Clamp lady 3:" Who's been medaling with the strings again?"

Behind the stage Fai and Kurogane's stunt double snickered.

_To the ruin scene._

Syaoran was looking through his book of: Serious yaoi porn when Sakura came running towards him with a big bump on her head.

"I brought lunch for us!" She said smiling and looked at the ruins.

"This here…I saw it last night."

"Do you mean my book, I can explain it. I'm studying male to male relationships and…" Syaoran explained nervous.

"No I read that book ages ago, I mean these symbols." Sakura said in her trance mode.

Suddenly the symbols opened a big hole and Sakura fell into it.

Syaoran stood over the hole curious.

Clamp lady 4: "You're supposed to be really worried and go search for her you idiot!"

Syaoran gave her the thumbs up and started to search for Sakura.

He jumped down on a few columns and finally saw Sakura, she was floating in ht air some weird trance.

Suddenly wings sprouted on her back shaped like that symbol.

"What the f is going on?" Syaoran asked.

Clamp lady 2: "Jump you fool!"

Syaoran jumped and grabbed Sakura but when they landed weird feathers flew away and the ruins started to crumble.

Syaoran ran outside with the unconscious princess.

_To the Yukito sends them away scene_

"I will send you to see someone in another world. Someone who, like me, carries the power of the moon, but not as good looking." Yukito said waving his staff around.

"Who is that person?" Syaoran asked.

"She is called the space time bitch. You will tell her everything, like your yaoi obsession and beg her to help the princess." Yukito said and Syaoran transported.

Syaoran looked up seeing a Woman with long brown hair and blue eyes.

"Are you the Space time bitch?" Syaoran asked.

"No I'm Aura, I work at McDonalds." The woman replied.

"He sent us to the wrong place."

_If you think I should continue this story please review and if you think this story is just a waste of my time review, it's that simple. _


	2. Chapter 2 Begining part2 Fai

_So I will continue this story! I want to thank anyone who reviewed it or read the first chapter. And characters can sometimes be a bit ooc._

Inside a palace there was a pool in the middle of one of the rooms.

Splash. Splash. Splash splash!

"Help I can't swim!" Fai yelled in the pool

Chii flew to his rescue and put him on dry land.

"Thank you Chii." Fai said catching his breath.

"Chii only saved your life because you are hot." Chii said smiling.

"Why thank you." Fai said smiling.

"What do you think you are doing!" Kurogane yelled and grabbed Chii.

"Did I mention I have a partner? I guess not." Fai said.

Kurogane ran to Chii's dressing room and came back in Chii's dress and with fake cat ears.

"From now on I'm Chii and Kurogane!" Kurogane yelled and pushed the original Chii off the stage.

"That dress looks so good on you Kuro-Myuu." Fai said and giggled.

"Cross-dresser!" Yukito yelled at him.

"You look so sexy in that dress." Tomoyo squealed.

"Okay, people who are not assigned in the Celes scene go away before I fire you all!" The director yelled.

"I think Ashura is choking." Fai said looking in the pool.

Ashura's face was turning purple.

"Somebody rescue him!" the director yelled worried.

Syaoran jumped in the pool and opened the coffin.

"Thank you Syaoran." Ashura said breathing in fresh air.

Syaoran looked at him pretty pissed off, there was silence between them until…

"What! No candy?" Syaoran asked.

"Candy?" Ashura asked confused.

"I saved your life so you must give me candy." Syaoran said.

Ashura reached into his pocket and gave him a lollypop.

Syaoran grabbed it and ran around the stage.

"Sugar!" he yelled happy.

"Chii?" Kurogane said trying to make his voice sound girly.

"Ehemm, this scene is about me so go away!" Fai yelled.

Syaoran, Tomoyo and Yukito stepped of the stage pouting.

"I can not stay in this town or this world so I must transport myself to the Dimension Witch so I can run away from the long raven haired man who hunts me in my dreams." Fai said speeding things.

"World?" Kurogane in the Chii outfit asked.

"World, dimension, town, city, they are all the same." Fai said.

"No they're not!" the director yelled at him.

"To me they are!" Fai yelled back.

"I still don't understand." Kurogane said clinging to Fai's arm.

"For you Ku- I mean Chii its all right._ Don't worry after this we will be alone in my dressing room." _Fai said and whispered the last part to Kurogane.

"Now I will write words that I don't know what mean in the air." Fai said.

"No, first you have to turn Chii into a dome." The director said reading the script.

Kurogane grabbed the original Chii and put her on stage and left whistling innocently.

"I turn you into a dome." Fai said and waved the wand at her, only hitting her in the face.

She then turned into a dome and went over the pool.

"Now can I transport to the witch?" Fai asked.

"Who are you calling witch?" Yuuko asked.

"You are a witch." Kurogane said.

"Aren't you supposed to be on the xxxholic studio?" Sakura asked.

"Oh I totally forgot." Yuuko said and ran to the xxxholic studio.

"I wan to grow up just like her!" Tomoyo said with stars in here eyes.

"When can I enter this show?" Souhma asked annoyed.

"Hello! Can I write the symbols now?" Fai asked.

"Yes." The director said and Fai started to write them in the air.

"Now I'm going to see the Dimension Witch so I can keep running away." Fai said and was swallowed by magic.

"Why do people like annoying me?" the director asked himself.

Fai suddenly appeared on the xxxholic stage with Yuuko, Syaoran, Sakura and Watanuki.

"Hey, you look like the director of Tsubasa." Fai said pointing at the director of xxxholic.

"No I have a moustache, the director of Tsubasa hasn't."the director explained.

"You must be crazy, thinking that they where the same." Syaoran said and Fai growled?

"Anyway, hi there, I'm Fai and I would like to travel to other worlds, avoiding my own so I don't get killed." He said smiling.

"I finally got here so please save Sakura Time Space Bitch." Syaoran said.

"It's witch not bitch!" Yuuko yelled at him.

"We can't carry on with this scene, we need the ninja!" the director of xxxholic yelled.

"Yes we can." Yuuko said with a threatening look.

"Well you guys can carry on but I'm not going to film it." The director said.

"You, Blondie give me your marking and you kid the girl will never remember you. The girl lost her memory of everything, her memories look like pretty feathers so I take this pretty green one which is her memory of you." Yuuko said rubbing a green feather.

"I don't suppose this doughnut will do instead?" Fai asked.

"Doughnut? What kind?" Yuuko asked drooling.

"With strawberry jam." Fai said smiling.

"Tough luck, I'm allergic to strawberries." Yuuko said.

Suddenly Fai's back started to glow and a tattoo flew to Yuuko.

"Gay porn rocks?" Yuuko asked reading it.

"Oh sorry wrong tattoo." Fai said blushing.

The tattoo flew back on his back and a larger one flew to Yuuko.

"This is my favorite tattoo, I got it from a cereal box." Fai said with tearful eyes.

"And cut!" the director yelled.

"I thought you weren't going to film this?" Yuuko asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm going to put this video on my website the director said smiling and removed the moustache of his face.

"So you direct Tsubasa and xxxholic? No wonder I thought you looked alike, see Syaoran-kun, I told you I wasn't crazy." Fai said.

"You're not crazy, you are so gay you could cough skittles." Syaoran said and got slapped by Sakura.

"No dirty words when the princess can hear them." Sakura said and Syaoran rubbed his face.

"But that wasn't a dirty word." Syaoran complained.

"I have a really weird cast." The director said and left the studio.

_I warned you people about ooc, don't worry, the scene where everyone is at Yuuko's place will be redone with Kurogane. Please review and tell me what you think of this story or chapter._


	3. Chapter 3 Begining part3 Kurogane

_Time for Kurogane! Applause! Enjoy!_

Kurogane slashed a ninja over and over.

"Why won't you die?" He yelled and threw him on the ground.

"Kurogane, I thought I told you no killing the castle guards." Tomoyo said.

"You mean these guys are not the enemy? Kurogane asked pointing at all the dead people and Tomoyo nodded.

"Eh he he, sorry." Kurogane said.

"Now I will have to send you to another world so you will learn your lesson." Tomoyo said and Kurogane started to sink into the ground.

"What the hell are you doing you bitch!" Kurogane yelled.

"She is sending you to another world." Yukito said dressed as a ninja.

"What are you doing there? You're not supposed to be in this scene!" the director yelled.

"You don't control me, everyone loves me, so I have to be in as many scenes as possible to make the fans happy." Yukito replied and looked at himself in the mirror. "Damn I'm hot!"

"Oh, and I will have to put a spell on you too." Tomoyo said and a symbol flew on Kurogane's forehead.

Suddenly he grew dog ears?

"What the hell?" Kurogane asked rubbing his ears.

"Sorry, I just thought this would look funny, now for the real spell." Tomoyo said and another symbol flew on his forehead and he grew a tail.

"Are you kidding me, now I have a dog tail!" Kurogane yelled.

"Eh, Tomoyo has been looking through the wrong spell book." Fai excused and gave Tomoyo a new one.

"Thank you Fai, and now I will send you to see Yuuko." Tomoyo said.

Then a new symbol flew on Kurogane's forehead and the other things disappeared.

"What is this spell?" Kurogane asked.

"It's called shoe and if you kill someone you will become weaker." Tomoyo explained and Kurogane disappeared.

"Was removing the dog parts of him really a good idea? That could've been punishment enough." Souhma asked,

"Nah, meeting Yuuko-San will be the worst punishment ever." Tomoyo said and laughed evilly.

Kurogane suddenly appeared on the xxxholic stage with the others.

"Who are you?" Kurogane asked Yuuko.

"I have been called many names like Dimensional Witch and The Space Time Witch." Yuuko explained.

"Who?" Kurogane asked.

"I am also called Yuuko." Yuuko said.

"Who?" Kurogane asked confused.

"I grant wishes." Yuuko said annoyed.

"Who?" Kurogane kept asking.

"I am Yuuko, The Space Time Witch, I have the power to transport people to other worlds!" Yuuko yelled.

"And who am I?" Kurogane asked really confused.

"Just tell me what you want." Yuuko said pissed.

"Kuro-muu is feeling dense today." Fai teased.

"Am not!" Kurogane yelled.

"Tell me what you all want so I can go rest and let Watanuki serve me!" Yuuko yelled at the group.

"I don't want to return to my world." Fai said.

"I want to save Sakura." Syaoran replied.

"I want…. a cupcake!" Kurogane said smiling.

"No, you're supposed to say you want to return to your world!" The director yelled.

"I mean I want to return to my world." Kurogane said.

"Well that's a tall order…get it tall? You know since you two are tall? Eh, forget it." Yuuko said and turned to Watanuki.

"Get the manjuu balls." She ordered and he followed Maru and Moru into her house.

"Can we get a roof? It's getting kinda wet here." Kurogane asked.

"What do you think I am a wish granter? Oh, wait I am, eh he sorry." Yuuko said.

"Anyway, I want your marking, your sword and the memories of you from that girl." She said pointing at Fai, Kurogane and Sakura.

Suddenly Yuuko's house was on fire and Watanuki holding two weird animals, Maru and Moru ran outside.

"That's what you get for not adding us in this scene!" Yukito and Touya yelled on top of Yuuko's house.

Since it was raining the fire died very quickly.

"Party pooper!" Yukito yelled at the rain.

"That is one weird guy." Kurogane said to himself.

"Hey if they're in this scene then we want to join too!" Ryouh yelled and entered the stage with Kyle, Xing Huo and Fei Wong Reed.

"I have a wish for you, I want all the feathers." Fei said.

"And I want to be cast as someone else, there is no way I'm working with that guy." Xing Huo said and pointed at Fei.

"And I want a bigger part in this show, I want to be Syaoran!" Ryouh yelled.

"Too bad, I'm Syaoran." Syaoran said and stuck out his tongue.

"No I am Syaoran." Yasha said stepping on the stage.

"No one but him is Syaoran so get off the stage!" The director yelled and pointed at Syaoran.

Yukito and Touya jumped off the house and walked of the stage with the others pouting.

"I'm from Greenland." Fai said smiling.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Syaoran asked.

"It's a conversation starter." Fai explained.

"Mokona swallow them before I do." Yuuko said and Mokona jumped in the air and grew wings.

"Mokona Modoki is so horny!" Mokona said and swallowed the four persons.

Syaoran was floating in the darkness when he suddenly he realized….

"Sakura!" he shouted waking up with Mokona in his face.

"Hi there, again." Fai said picking Mokona up.

"Oh, it's you, the blond weirdo." Syaoran said.

"You where stroking the girls ass so we removed her from you." Kurogane said.

"I thought I realized something was different." Syaoran said and sighed.

Fai suddenly started to rub his behind.

"What the hell are you doing?" Syaoran asked shocked.

"You have a soft ass but I saw something." Fai said and stopped rubbing his behind with a feather in his hand giggling.

"Is it me or is this guy weird?" Syaoran whispered to Kurogane.

"It's definitely not you." Kurogane whispered back.

"Here's the feather." Fai said handing Syaoran the feather.

"Do you really think I'm going to touch that?" Syaoran asked.

Fai sighed and handed the feather to the princess and the feather was sucked into her chest.

The three guys stared at the girl confused and surprised.

"That is the weirdest thing I have ever seen." Kurogane said and the others nodded.

"Mokona has seen stranger, Mokona has seen a man shoot a fireball from his butt." Mokona said and the guys turned to him.

"Really?" Syaoran asked.

"No, not really. Mokona just wanted to say something." Mokona said blushing.

"I am so retaking these scenes." The director said to himself.

"Hi there I am your psycho host Sora and this is my sweet and innocent wife Arashi." A man behind them said.

Suddenly a shoe was thrown at Fai.

"Ow! Who did that?" Fai asked angry.

Yukito laughed evilly from his hiding place.

"I'll get you for this!" Fai yelled.

"Girlfriend trouble?" Sora asked.

"No, enemy trouble." Kurogane explained.

"People just like to hit me with shoes because I'm so hot:" Fai said smiling.

"No they don't, they think I'm the hottest." Syaoran said.

"No I'm the hottest!" Kurogane yelled and they started to argue.

"Shut the hell up!" Sora and Arashi yelled and something hit the three guys on the head.

"What was that for!" They yelled rubbing their head.

Suddenly Syaoran realized something.

"Hey if you two are over there and we are way over here….then what hit us on the head?" he asked looking around.

"It was my kudan, what else?" Sora asked confused.

"Kudan?" Kurogane asked confused.

_This chapter is longer, I know and ch2 and 3 have most likely not been as funny as the first one. The thing where Kurogane keeps saying Who? Is from a funny flash movie where they are making fun of the game Kingdom hearts and I just had to add it. If you have any ideas for making this a funnier and better story please tell me._


	4. Chapter 4 Kudan what?

_I sorry for the wait, maybe it's a good idea to forget the director, what do you think? _

"Kudan is ……damn I forgot what I was going to say." Sora said.

"I win, more people say I'm the sexiest." Fai said proud.

"How do you know, she-man? You look like a damn woman." Syaoran explained.

"I do not you damn baby-face, at least I'm a new character not some hand me down from an old story." Fai said.

"You, you woman!" Syaoran yelled.

"Baby-face!" Fai yelled back.

Sora and Arashi watched the two fight but the ninja was too lazy to join them.

"Hey what's this?" Fai asked reaching for a book right next to Syaoran.

"No! My yaoi book!" Syaoran yelled but it was too late, Fai had already started to read it.

Fai read and read, reading every page but on one page he stopped and blushed.

"That's something a young boy like you should never see." He said and showed the page to the ninja and then to their host, Sora.

"What? Can't a kid study yaoi?" Syaoran asked.

Suddenly Sakura started to move and then open her eyes.

"Sakura!"

"Who the hell are you? Some disturbed stalker?" She asked glaring at him.

"He's just your friendly yaoi collector:" Fai said smiling and bent down to her, scaring her to death.

"Eek! A he-she!" She screamed and crawled up to the wall.

"Don't be afraid of him, he's harmless." Kurogane said walking towards her.

"A homicidal murderer!" she screamed.

"Was she always like that?" both Kurogane and Fai asked the depressed Syaoran.

"In the morning, yes." Syaoran explained.

Fai then started to think and then he looked at himself in the mirror. He had to admit the brat was right, he did kinda look like a woman.

"Could I be any more effeminate?!" Fai yelled at the sky where the women of Clamp sat on a cloud. Grinning, they decided to give the mage an answer.

Suddenly Fai got boobs, his lips became thicker and his clothes, well, let's just say you would not see an ordinary woman wear those at day-time.

"It was a figure of speech!" Fai yelled with his new female voice and he went back to normal.

"Man, that was weird. For a moment I actually thought you were good-looking." Syaoran said scratching his head.

"Shut up kid, my show's on." Kurogane said watching Oprah.

"So tell me why are you here?" Oprah asked a familiar priest.

"You see, I don't get any screen time on TRC, they say I'm not needed anymore." Yukito said sobbing. Oprah put her hand on his shoulder.

"There, there. I know what will cheer you up." She said smiling.

"More screen time on TRC?" Yukito asked.

"No, subscription to O magazine." Oprah explained and the crowd went wild.

"That won't cheer me up!!" Yukito yelled.

"How about a new car?"

"Yes please."

"That's it for now." Oprah yelled as the crowd screamed and squealed until the credits were over.

"Strange, I think I've seen him before." Syaoran said thinking.

"You mean Yukito?"

"Who?"

"Never mind." Kurogane said and continued to watch the TV.

Sakura, while they had been talking had moved closer to them, she wasn't scared anymore. Sora and Arashi had already left.

"What's cracking homies?" The princess asked smiling and the three men turned around.

"Wow, I'm going on a dimensional travel with three hot guys." She looked at Mokona. "…and a rice ball." She finished licking her lip.

"DO. NOT. EAT. MOKONA." Mokona said spitting out a giant chainsaw. The girl shrieked and crawled back to the wall.

Suddenly the door burst open and Toya appeared holding a shotgun.

"DO NOT THREATEN MY SISTER!." He looked at Syaoran. "AND YOU! YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH HER OR I'M COMING AFTER YOU, DO YOU HEAR THAT?!!" He finished and Syaoran nodded. Before he left, he looked back to Syaoran.

"If I can't reach you, then I'll haunt you in your dreams." The King Toya left, breaking the door and shooting some random household objects.

"THAT. WAS. ONE. SCARY. DUDE!" Kurogane said with Mokona hiding in his clothes.

"You think so? I thought he looked kinda nice…OF course he's scary!!" Syaoran yelled still shaking.

"Did you kids hear something…HOLY SHI….What happened here?" Sora asked looking at the destruction.

"Uhh….You see this flying crocodile flew through the window, holding a shotgun and was trying to shoot us, the Kurogane broke down the door and Fai helped him ruin everything! I didn't do nothing!" Syaoran yelled pointing at the other men.

"LIAR!" Kurogane yelled.

"Do you know what people in my country do to liars?" Fai asked glaring at Syaoran and picked up Kurogane's sword, that somehow kept re-appearing.

"W-what do they do?" Syaoran asked.

"They…give them half a cake!" Fai said laughing evilly.

"NOOOOOO! Anything but that." Syaoran screamed in tears and Fai handed him half a cake.

"The horror, the horror!" Sora and Kurogane screamed in unison while Sakura wondered why a half cake was so bad, a cake is cake. But after hours of their screaming, she finally lost it.

"JUST EAT THE GODDAMN CAKE YOU NIMROD!!!" She yelled and the males froze. Sakura shot a glare at Syaoran which he understood was her way of saying: Eat the cake or die. So he ate it and it was GOOD.

"And now for something completely different." Sora said and everything went black.

Syaoran was standing in darkness when he smelled something burnt. A fire-fox walked to him.

"Holy shit, the fox is on fire!" He screamed running in circles.

"Stupid human." The fox said and Syaoran stopped.

"A fox on fire that can talk!!" He screamed and ran in triangles.

"Listen to me, I'm going to help you find the feathers so I'm going inside of you until you need me." The fox explained.

"Sorta like in that card-game show, where some 5000 year old guy posses a teenage boy like me?" Syaoran asked.

"Not even close. I'm just going to appear out of nowhere, got that kid." The fox said.

"Okay. Sounds good to me, and will you help me when I need you?" Syaoran asked.

"I just said that."

"Cab I call you Foxy?" Syaoran asked.

"No! Time to wake up now."

Suddenly Syaoran woke up next to Sakura.

"Feels…wet." Syaoran said confused.

He walked into the kitchen hungry, no one was awake yet so he had to find himself some food. After a long search he found a bag of popcorn, but too bad he didn't know how to use the microwave and then he finally remembered a friend he had just met.

"Hey Foxy, I need help." Syaoran said and the fire fox appeared.

"What is it? Gangsters, murderers?" The fox asked and Syaoran showed him/her/it the bag.

"I hate humans."


End file.
